Pansy in the wind...

I realized today that I haven't posted in a bit.  The reason is a lack of content, or the lack of good content.  I don't like to be negative but after two rough weeks I think the negativity is starting to creep in.  My frustration has begun to reach a new level and I am just about to that point that most mommies-to-be reach, "get this baby out of here!"

A few weeks ago I started having Braxton Hicks contractions.  These are completely normal and are often referred to as "practice" contractions.  They aren't like real contractions which typically start in your lower back and move their way to your lower abdomen.  Instead BH contractions kind of feel like when you get a tight muscle after a workout.  Your entire belly gets hard...really hard...so hard it feels like someone poured cement in your belly and let it dry.  At first these are pretty cool.  "OOh babe watch my belly shrink and get super hard."  It's kind of a right of passage for prego mommies reminding us that we are getting close to meeting our sweet lil puff nugget.  I didn't mind them at first.  But about two weeks ago my BH contractions starting annoying me.  I say annoy because they don't really hurt.  They can be a bit uncomfortable so annoy is the best word I can think of.  I started noticing I would have them VERY frequently.  Not the four in an hour that is normal but more like 5 in 15 minutes!  This went on several hours at a time for a few days.  I know I probably should have called my doctor but I feel embarrassed calling my doctor for every pain, discomfort, etc.  I don't want to be one of those crazy women who thinks she is in labor every time she feels a tinge of pain.  So I waited until my next doctor's appointment.  I started to get nervous and last Monday I finally conceded and called the nurse and told her what was happening.  She told me to take it easy and drink LOTS of water.  Now anyone who is close to me knows I drink a ridiculous amount of water...probably over 100 oz a day.  In fact I attribute my water consumption to why I am not really bloated in my feet or my face.  So I know I was getting enough water.  Tuesday, was my appointment and I confessed to my doctor that the contractions were still coming quite regularly.  He decided to check my cervix.  Oh yay, I LOVE being poked and prodded in my lady parts....all in a day's work!  Guess I should get used to it. To our big relief I was not dilating but my doctor did but me on temporary bed rest.  He said I didn't have to stay in bed all day long necessarily but he did want me to limit my activities and work from home.  After further reading I found that sometimes mommies that are too active can bring on BH contractions.  Husband Daddy and some of my closest friends keep getting after me for doing too much.  My typical self, "no, I'm good, I can do this."  So I guess everyone was right.  So last week I worked from home.  I don't mind working from home but I DO mind not being able to do much at all.  I think I psyched myself out.  It's not like we do much during the week but knowing I wasn't really allowed to do much, even around the house, made me stir crazy.  By Friday DJ felt comfortable in letting us go to dinner with some friends and me getting my hair cut (not that he had much say because I probably would have done it anyway).  Saturday and Sunday I know I did WAY too much.  I told Husband I would rest but I had things I wanted to get done and so he agreed to help me.  Saturday I did things around the house.  Sunday we went to church and between the round ligament pain and the BH contractions I knew I was probably overdoing it.  I just had two quick errands I needed Husband to help me with and then we came home.  Friday night, all day Saturday and Sunday my BH contractions came back.  So now my stubborn self knows...I need to take it easy and really limit my activities.  I cried about it the other day because I told Husband I felt so bored and felt like I wasn't contributing to the family.  We are both very type A and sadly we feel we've had a good day when we have contributed or accomplished something.

On Monday we had a visit with our perinatal specialist.  We have been holding our breath for this one praying that he would give our lil puff nugget a clean bill of health.  Praise God because he said he no longer detected the spot on her heart and that she looked perfectly healthy!  Oh and he estimated her weight at 6 lbs.  She is a Petite Sofie no more.  He finally cleared us and turned me over 100% to my OB!

Monday afternoon was pretty rough.  I am not sure if it was because of the activity level or just plain pregnancy but I started to have BH contractions again pretty regularly.  Around 3 PM during a conference call I started to feel some new discomfort.  First, I got really clammy and nauseous and then I felt what felt like menstrual cramps in my lower back.  Nothing major just a dull ache.  Then it moved to the front.  Uh-oh....after about 1/2 hour of this I got a teensy nervous.  I tried to take deep breaths to calm myself (mind you I was on a call so I had to act like I was fine, it was probably good I was on the call because it distracted me).  After my meeting was over I decided to get up and walk around a bit.  The cramps went away and I felt much calmer.  I cooked a quick dinner (poor Husband...now all he gets are casseroles instead of my old creative cooking).  By the time Husband came home around 7 I had been feeling the dull cramps again.  In addition my round ligament pain became almost unbearable.  It hurt to even get up off the couch.  After dinner I drew myself a bath and hoped that the soak would alleviate both.  After my bath I decided to get into bed.  I get into bed around 8:30 now since it's one of the few places that is somewhat comfortable.  The aches continued but not as strong as before.

So that leads me to this morning.  After speaking with my nurse she instructed me that not much can be done for the round ligament pain except Tylenol.  She also told me that since my cramps weren't at any consistent pattern that I should be ok but I need to monitor them again today and I need to take it easy.  I am starting to think I am going to be told to take it easy (aka do nothing but stay home) until the end of my pregnancy.  Grrrrr....that frustrates me so much!  I feel like my body is being used and abused and I feel like such a pansy now!  When did I become such a  wimp?!  I mean I ran a half marathon pregnant, why can't I get through the last few weeks of pregnancy?! 

I know I need to do what's best for Sofie G.  My OB says that Sofie would be ok if she was born now but he prefers she bake a lil bit longer.  I am 35 weeks so just a few more to go.  This last part has been hard, mostly mentally challenging.  I can deal with aches and pains but being frustrated, annoyed and bored has been very hard on me.  So I apologize to all of you if I have been short in the last few weeks.  I especially need to apologize to Husband since he bears the brunt of my mood swings and craziness.  I've said it once and I will say it again but I truly have been blessed with an amazing man.  Thank you God for sending me Husband Daddy!!!!!